Hiatus Over and Classes Have Begun

So I've taken several months off of blogging, and volunteering to decide what I really wanted to do with my life. I couldn't find the drive to want to be a doctor any longer. It seemed the longer I actually took off from school, the more I didn't really want to go back. I'm sure this is the normal in most adult students; you get so used to a routine that it gets kind of scary to try to do something different. So I had been looking at what I would want to do instead, it was definitely medical, there was no leaving that; but I had looked into becoming an RN via LPN and the LPN/RN bridge program. That seemed like a great idea considering that was how I was going to go into premed and medical school.

Fast forward several months...



It is now late September, and I've decided that what I really want to do is become a doctor. There really is no changing that fact for me, it was really drilled into my head when my coworker was diagnosed with
Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma. In some cases it really does take something extreme to point out that you were on the right path to what you wanted to do with your life.


That being said, I've enrolled in a LPN program at a local school here in Florida; I've always known I would need a career that I could do while I was working toward Medical school, because I would never be able to be that student that only went to class; and while securing financial aid is hard to do once you make a certain amount, I would much rather take out the loans, and be able to take of myself than spend a decade plus worrying about the bills I had. That being said I now have a long road ahead of me. I am currently 360 days from my graduation from the LPN program, from there I will be enrolling at either a state university or a community college; more than likely this will be a community college so I can do my prerequisites for my RN bridge classes. While doing my prerequisites and bridge I also plan on doing my premed classes, luckily a lot of the prerequisites for RN also over lap with premed (score). Along with that I'm also hoping to take some business courses; this is under the advice of a local foot and ankle surgeon in town that explained to me how much this could eventually help me run my own practice.


On top of classes, I also need to get back to my volunteer work; this is going to take a while to get back into the swing of, and I'm actually hoping to move departments. I would actually like to work in ED or even somewhere around the OR since I've been thinking about becoming a surgeon. While I'm sure some people love working with new mothers and young infants, that's not really my thing. I don't enjoy kids, or babies for the most part; so hopefully after I speak with the head of volunteer services I can work it into my schedule to volunteer in another department, something that is more interesting to me.


All in all, it's good to know that this is what I really want to do with my life. Now just comes the hard part of actually working toward that. I hope you'll all follow me for that adventure, and while I can't promise everyday updates, or even every week; I do promise to keep you updated on my adventure in becoming the best nurse, and eventually doctor that I can be.

Love,
The Pretend Doctor

x

Day 05: Pretend Doctor as a Sales Girl?

Heading to Volunteer Services, right next to us is the Doctors' Lounge over looking the river.

   Today was my first day with the evil ‘candy’ cart, I’ve known since starting my volunteer job that I would be doing this and I’ve been dreading it. I always feel so awkward trying to sell people things; what if they don’t have the money, or are sleeping, or feeding, or whatever.  So I’ve been trying to avoid it, and I had been rather successful up until today. Sadly Mrs. HVS wasn’t all that busy when I walked in so she escorted me to the gift shop and got the cart for me and sent me on my way. Once up at 4-North I was actually told not to start doing rounds with the cart until 1030, a full two hours after I arrived (hallelujah).




    For the first four hours of my shift I did my usual: fridge stocking, charts, answering phones and doors, escorting patients around and general do-gooder stuff. To shake up my routine there was an actual code red, and not just an alarm; holy sea biscuits there is some action around here. Only sadly it was at the de Paul building next to us and was a water leak. Turns out that if one area has the code all floors and both buildings get it. Sad, right? I did get to guard the doors to make sure no one tried to steal a baby or two, SCORE! It didn’t actually last too long, only long enough to annoy everyone and have me running around like a chicken with my head cut off. The nurse on 4-North was kind of rude though. L&D sent me to watch 4-North’s door because there were about 3 of us watch L&D’s and they figured they’d be nice and send the volunteer to 4N to watch there. Once I briskly walk the (what seems like) 5 miles to the other end the nurse gives me a slight attitude about how it would have been nice if I would have been there all along so she wouldn’t of had to do it. I’m sure all of you in med school, or doing your pre-med stuff know that volunteering at a hospital you just do what you’re told to do, you don’t go off of the plan. Well I was told to go watch L&D’s doors, sorry 4N just be glad they sent me at all. Once that nurse gave me a bit of attitude I just turned around and went back to my tiny little area (it’s an abandoned nurse’s station) and went back to making L&D packets up, obviously 4N didn’t need me to watch their doors, sorry ladies.



    As for the cart I sold a grand total of, wait for it, wait for it, ZERO dollars worth of stuff. I’m a horrible sales person, sorry Mrs. HVS.





   I did get to see Dr. V today, I seriously love that man, he’s SO nice. My first day at the nursery he spent a few minutes talking to me, and giving me a pep talk about my pre-med years, and med school.  He’s seriously just one really nice guy, I enjoy working around him. Sadly I didn’t see Dr. C, and I haven’t in about two weeks, he’s really nice as well (and good-looking!). Although I’ve yet to meet a mean doctor in maternity, odd…





   All in all today was a decent day on maternity, but I’m still not sold on it. I’ll give it until the end of April to finally decide what I want to do, who knows maybe I’ll actually become the super volunteer that I’m trying to become and they’ll give me more stuff to do there, and I’ll like it more. All I can really do is wait and see right?





   Until next time.

Volunteer Day 04: Transfer? (And a ghetto hospital)

Sadly I missed what would have officially been my fourth day at my hospital, I was bummed out by the turn of events, but found it to be unavoidable (read: extreme migraine headache with nausea and light sensitivity), and I opted to stay home in bed and sleep almost all day (bummer).


Anyways, this past Monday when I showed up to do my weekly shift I was fresh off of one of my overnight shifts at Shitty LLC., maternity was absolutely dead; I only saw three babies, two had come in right after I arrived, the third showing up a few hours later. Needless to say I was bored out of my skull, I always find maternity to be a little dull and lacking in the energy department, but this was insane. I cannot begin to express how bad it was after being up all night, I almost fell asleep several times, and stared at the walls for what seemed like forever. Finally, at about 1130, I got up and went to go assemble chart packets for L&D, I only got about eight done, but had about half of another thirty-two done before I left at 1330.



This was honestly probably my worst day in maternity, it really made me realize that I don't really enjoy being up there at all. I want to feel like I'm actually doing something other than staring at a wall for probably thirty minutes straight; so on Monday morning when I go back in I think I'm going to speak to Mrs. HVS about maybe transferring to the ED, maybe it will be a little bit more lively for us volunteers and I wont be tempted to fall asleep during my shift. Oh, and I'll probably need to drag along a big can of sugar free Redbull, you know, just in case.




As for the ghetto hospital I mentioned, Wednesday I had a volunteer interview at the local teaching hospital. First let me start off by saying that a few summers ago I spent a great deal of time at their Gainesville branch. It's one of the things that helped me realize I really, really, really wanted to be a doctor; it made me feel safe, content, and at peace whilst in its walls. Sadly this branch made me feel the exact opposite; I felt lost, discombobulated, and extremely unsafe. This is the first hospital I have EVER been in that had metal detecters at the entry points for the ED, and several other wings. While the main lobby is an impressive area the further you go into the actual hospital the more run down it gets. I should state that I'm not really surprised that the hospital isn't in the best of conditions; it's extremely old, and not in the best of locations (actually I think I saw a hooker at the gas station across the street, I'm really not joking), but I figured where it was affiliated with a large state university they'd attempt to at least keep it up if for no other reason than the reputation of the school. I was wrong. The HVS did a quick interview and handed me a stack of forms to return, and explained the 'perks' of volunteering there; free parking and a voucher for a free meal. After thinking about it on the drive home I don't think I'll be returning the forms. No matter how badly I need the hours, and enjoy helping people; it just wasn't the facility for me when all is said and done.


Although it did make me realize how much I love the hospital I volunteer at, and actually enjoy being there, and let's not forget the confidence it gives me. I think I'm one pretty lucky volunteer all in all (even if I don't get a free lunch, oh well).


*No pictures today, I was lame and forgot my cell phone Monday. :(

Volunteer Day 03: Women's Services

The view at my 'desk'.

Today was my third day up in Women's Services (also 4 North, The Nursery, or L&D depending on where I get put that day), instead of watching the entrance/exit, and answering calls for the four hours they had me I was actually putting together charting packets. Once I got a system down it actually wasn't all that bad, and made the time go by so quickly.

I actually had two sets that I had to do, one for the nursery and another for L&D; I actually had no idea that the unit clerks actually had to put together all these packets, it's pretty time consuming when you're only doing that, I couldn't imagine doing that, answering the phone, letting people in and out, answering questions for visitors and working on minor parts of each chart-- I'd probably go nuts considering the sheer amount of space and time it actually takes up. Other than that there wasn't much I had to do, I did stock the snack fridges when I first got there, no biggie there.

I won't lie, I did check out one of the neonatal doctors most of my shift, well when he'd walk by me... Oh and I may have snuck a few glances at one of the male family medicine students that was doing rotations, super cute. Not that anyone cares about that.


Anyways, once I have my M.D./D.O. I hope I remember how hard everyone, including the volunteers, below me works, and that I need to respect them. I think that's what the one nurse I see at work all the time was telling me, and I finally get it... Although the nurse that ignored my paging to get out will not get respect, that was just rude.

But all and all, it was pretty good day at my hospital.

Elective Clinical Rotations I May Want To Take:

1. Emergency Medicine
* Critical Care
2. Pathology
3. Hematology and Oncology
4. Cardiovascular Medicine
5. Internal Medicine
6. Obstetrics/Gynecology
* Pediatric Critical Care
7. Pediatrics
* Pediatric Emergency
** Pediatric Critical Care/Subspecialty
8. Thoracic Surgery
9. Preventive Medicine
10. General Surgery
11. Rheumatology
12. Nuclear Medicine
13. Orthopedic Surgery
14. PM&R
15. Psychiatry
16. Family Medicine
17. Infectious Disease
18. Neurology

Of course I'll probably change my mind a million times before it's actually time for me to decide, but as of right now these are what are interesting to me. I do know I have no interest in urology, radiology, plastic surgery, dermatology, ophthalmology, orthopedics, and otolaryngology; maybe I'm weird...

 */**:  If elective above is taken then I'll also take this/these as well.

Things My Shitty Job Has Taught Me:

Lesson 1: How to deal with assholes and overall difficult people: Working at Shitty LLC. it seems like all I ever really deal with are drunks, idiots, assholes and generally hard to deal with douche bags. Usually the drunks are showing off for their friends, or if they’re alone the booze have amplified a shining facet of their personality that makes them oh so fun to deal with. They like to make rude comments, and just be a pain in my ass.

The idiots make me feel like banging my head into a brick wall, or beating them with a foam bat until my itty bitty heart is content (that could be a longggggggg time).  Other than annoying me I don’t really mind them since once they leave my coworkers and I mock them. Although drunken idiots are a whole new level and I ALWAYS wish they get stopped for cops for drunk driving.

The assholes and the generally annoying are the ones I hate the most; they have a way of ruining my whole night. Sadly at Shitty LLC. there isn’t much I can do about it but smile and help them as much as I can (without murdering them), I always imagine they’re the types that kick cute little puppies and steal candy from little smiling babies. Douche bags.

My two years at Shitty LLC. has made me realize that I’m not always going to get the awesome patients that you just want to run around bragging about, and that I’m just going to have to grow a pair and deal with them, and not allow my minimal time with them to ruin my shifts (too much anyways). Having annoying, stupid, drunk douche bag patients is part of the game that is medicine, and there isn’t much I can do to change it but to grin, bare it, and later change some facts and talk about it on my blog—like Dr. Grumpy.

On a side note, I will admit that these people cause me to spend about 15% of my shift wondering why in the hell I really want to save people’s lives.



Lesson 2: How to work horrible hours without complaining – much: I work 22 – 6 exclusively, sometimes with little to no sleep at all. I’m sure people doing medical school know how I feel with being up for up to 36 hours at a time, so I look at this as really good training for school. I already know what it is to walk around with an IV of Redbull/Espresso attached to me pumping my body full of caffeine; which sounds about on par with medical school from what I’ve read.



Lesson 3: How to work 8+ hours without a break: The managers at my company are slave drivers, no one on my shift gets a 30 minute break to sit down and relax for a minute, from the minute we walk in we’re usually busy, Shitty LLC. is much busier on the weekends than during the week, so some days we barely get the chance to sit down and have a drink before we’re off and running around like chickens with our heads cut off again.

That’s pretty much how I imagine rotations to be, just go, go, go with little chance to actually sit down and breathe for a minute. The lack of breaks has taught me not to complain, but to deal with it, and to just allow myself to crash when I get home, granted in school you can’t sleep all day, but hey that’s what Redbull is for right?




Lesson 4: Wear comfortable shoes: After 40+ hours a week on my feet without a break my feet tend to kill me, we’re talking walking like a geriatric patient. It’s made me realize the need for a good pair of comfortable shoes, no matter the profession you’re going into. I mean really who really wants to turn into a mega-bitch/dick because your feet feel like someone is ripping the bottoms open with a dull knife? I sure don’t that’s for sure.



Lesson 5: How to say ‘NO’… usually: I’m usually someone that wants to help everyone, or for whatever reason please them. Shitty LLC is slowly teaching me how to tell people ‘Not just no, but hell fucking no!’ Granted once I’m in rotations and residency I can’t actually say no to my superiors, but once I’m established as a physician working (hopefully) in EM somewhere I’ll be able to say no without feeling too badly. Maybe.



There’s a lot more that Shitty LLC. has taught me, but I think those are maybe my top five, any more than these you’ll probably want to shoot me in the head.

Volunteer Day 01: 4 North

Yesterday was my first day of volunteering at my local hospital; after some discussions with the head of the volunteer program it was decided that I would work in the maternity ward. Maternity has never been my first choice for anything, I'm not a fan of screaming babies, and really, looking at them all day may make me decide I want one. Considering that I'm just now starting the process to become a doctor, having a baby would mess up EVERYTHING. But Mrs. HeadofVolunteerServices (HVS from now on) was so enthusiastic about the program that I couldn't say no.

My morning officially started at 0830 with me running a few minutes late since I had to pick up my badge from Human Resources, and being escorted up to Maternity (4 North from now on) to start my day. The ladies of 4 North were extremely welcoming and just all around nice. I knew from the start that I would love working with them.

The actual work is actually pretty boring, watching the the monitors to allow people in and out, answering calls from the patients, stocking the fridges, making the random bed, and running minor errands for the unit. The slow pace is something that I hate. I work 22-06 most nights so the slower pace would more than likely cause me to fall asleep; something that isn't very good at all. On top of that I really dislike crying babies, as I've already said. They get on my nerves and I tend to want the parents to calm them down so they're not wailing, granted newborns are less annoying that the ones a few months older than them.By the time I left I had a pounding headache, and a need for some espresso that could make even a die hard anti-coffee person crave it.

I'm hoping that maybe next Monday goes a little smoother for me, and I learn to enjoy 4 North, if not I'm going to have to speak with Mrs. HVS about maybe transferring to the ER.

Wish me luck.